Wednesday, November 12, 2008

In the news: Mark Foley

So you remember Mark Foley? He was the Republican who was being all flirty with congressional pages, who are all boys in their teens (not all of them, just the ones he thought were hot). He fell from grace and he was a part of that whole "I'm an alkie, I'm going to rehab" craze of the later Bush years; before becoming public enemy #1 (gay), he helped craft legislation to protect kids on the internet from people like Perez Hilton. It turns out he was gay, but most people in Washinton already knew that. Yahoo has a story up about, which is really an interview with him, except the kind of interview with narration, not just a transcript (hate that!). Some excerpts for your perusalz:

Foley insists he did nothing illegal and never had sexual contact with
teens, just inappropriate Internet conversations. Investigations by the FBI and
Florida authorities ended without criminal charges. And while he concedes his
behavior was "extraordinarily stupid," he remains somewhat unwilling to accept
full public scorn. These were 17-year-olds, just months from being men, he

I actually agree with him there; everyone wants to bang seventeen year olds. EVERYONE! Don't lie, please, ok let's keep looking:

In public life, you dream of the day they'll name a hospital after you, or
a bridge or a post office," Foley said, twisting a gold band on his ring finger identical to one his high-society dermatologist boyfriend wears.

"If I had a post office named after me today, they'd probably return to sender," he

Zing! Further:

Shortly after his resignation, his attorney announced that Foley was gay
and an alcoholic and had been molested by a priest as a teenage altar boy in
Florida. Foley then checked himself into a treatment facility.

"I loved my early life, and then along comes a priest ... who forces me
into a sexual relationship at the age of 12. And right shortly thereafter, I
fail eighth grade, I start drugs, I start drinking, I start smoking," he said.
"My entire life ... implodes."
A Republican won back Foley's congressional district last week after the
Democrat who replaced him was caught in an adultery scandal. It's become known
as "The Curse of the Mark Foley Seat."

"It's not what I had hoped would be my lasting legacy," he said, pausing to brush away tears. So what does the man who once was such a popular figure in politics and high-society do now?

"I don't know. I don't know," he said. "I'm just going to take it a day at a

Yeesh. I kind of feel bad for him right now, I dunno. I mean, these congressional pages, I'm assuming, were young, upstart republicans, which basically means they're gay. I guess what I'm saying is, where's the crime America?*

*Besides abuse of power or whatever, BUT IS THAT EVEN A RULE THERE? Probly not.

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