Sunday, March 8, 2009

# Whatever: warm weather

What's good about warm weather is that I don't have to wear the same 4 sweaters over and over again. I can be poor, without looking poor, because everyone basically looks poor in the spring and summer, because they all are sweaty and smell bad, and are wearing shorts, just like homeless people. But, further, this is the best time of year to be a closet case because guys are barely wearing anything in the summer, and it's a primo opportunity to ogle your ass off. Sure people will notice your gaze following the beefcakes and hot jailbait walking around with nary a leaflet to cover their loins, but what the fuck will you care? Your spank bank will be overstocked after the visual wasteland that is the winter months. Rejoice, clozzies. Maybe at the beach, your closest bro toweling down after coming in from the surf, he catches you checkin out his nips, and you look away, but he says, "It's cool, you can look." You smile at him, and get married to him 6 years later [in an alternate world where you won't go to hell for being a fagmo]. 

Here comes the sun, and it's all right. 

No comments: