As days go by, it's the....something, something. Whatever, I'm trying to sing the Family Matters theme

Which I sometimes confuse with the Full House theme? Don't know why, but I basically always do that.

-I gave my cat a sip of a chocolate nutritional drink. It made him stand on his hind legs and beg for more.

-I kind of hate myself because every time I see a picture of Zac Efron, I'm always like, "Oh, man." Which is sad, right? Who the fuck does he think he is? [pic via jezebel]

-I've been writing ecards at someecards and it's a lot of fun, especially when they actually seem to be liked, which is not always.

-You ever notice how Brent Corrigan is always posing and shit in his videos? It's like, some of us are into the fourth wall, dude.

-Doesn't it suck how if you basically lay your cards on the table and tell some dude you're like soulmates and shit, how you can't go back? Because you CAN NOT go back--it either ends well (which is almost never the case for fagmos) or it ends badly, which is nearly surefire this day and age. But I'm tellin you, right?

-So bored right now. Not in the suicide-y way, just am. Maybe go for a walk? Trying to hate Kanye less. Miss you, JoBros.

Anyone have an extra asian boyfriend they're not using?

Cuz I kinda want one, but there aren't a lot available by me.

Is this one yours?

Can I have it?

Anyway, this was supposed to be a post about how I want to learn to fight, via the mixed martial arts, but how I don't want to look like I got hit in the face a bunch of times. This is Korean Pop Sensation™ Rain, after getting into killing-machine shape for his new movie, Ninjas that Kill, produced by the Matrix Brothers. So, this post became an excuse to post these pictures, instead of an excuse to post pictures of UFC fighters. They call that 'blogging', and it is both tremendous and an art form. Thank you.

In life: 100 post mark

I made it to about a hundred posts sometime this week. Not sure when, although I could easily check, and it got me thinking about how I like the site better now that I'm not 'trying to sound smart', even though I liked this place back then too. Guess maybe it just means I like what I'm doing, as long as I'm doing what I want? Anyway, that picture up there is from here. Here are some links, though, in honor of this landmark moment, on this Friday the 13th, of some posts I wrote, in which I actually like what I wrote, and didn't just use it as an excuse to 'post hot bros.'

-We talked about 'getting drunk' to hide your pain

-We talked about sports

-We talked about science

-We talked about religion and gay people in American society

-We talked about misinformation

Sports are good to kill time, right?

picture via here

I have a bunch of free time now, so I'm thinking maybe I should get into sports? It'll either be basketball or something that involves a wetsuit, or maybe something that involves a white sparkly jacket. I'm trying to kinda hone in on whichever speaks to me the most, you know?

I mean, sports get you into shape, and if I join some sort of club, there are plenty of fit guys there, and that's the whole point of being alive, right? To find people to stare at creepily, or, like, go out with and start a family? Haha, I know that rule doesn't apply to fggts, I'm just saying in general, you guys, relax. But maybe surfing? I need to learn how to swim first tho. It could just be swimming that I do, since Michael Phelps is the new touchstone for physical perfection of the neck-down variety. Just some shit that I've been CONSIDERING, since I have time to workout like ten times a day if I wanted to, as long as I put aside time to get wasted. The working out is for the outside, the getting wasted is for to feel alive.

Greatest art house film of the last five years

It's a seriodramatic comedy called Never Back Down, and it is discusses themes of things not being what they appear, and tackles the different layers behind our understanding of the world and language--this is all implied, but it serves as an unspoken explanation for the events in the film. The main character, Jake, is a troublemaker and moves to Florida or whatever, where he soon meets the love of his life, a streetfighter named Ryan, played by ripped thespian Cam Gigandet. When the two first lock eyes, it's seriously one of the most heart-pounding moments I've ever experienced in my living room. This will probably get nominated for a Spirit Award this year (IF THERE'S ANY JUSTICE).

The two fight at a house party, a sweaty row that is supposed to be symbolic of these two making love for the first time, except the limitations of societal mores makes it so that these two young men cannot express, and so therefore must subvert, their sexual desires. This is presented in the abstract in the form of street fights. Jake loses, which represents him being the bottom. This is meant to portray societies ostracization of 'people like that' and so Jake goes on a journey to both win Ryan's love and prove to the world that he is as much a man, if not more than, his peers.

Seriously, the poetic beauty of the training montages (matched with tasteful radio rock selections) will bring tears to your eyes. The way the filmmakers use a constant barrage of shirtless, smooth-chested cover shots to convey the isolation and almost desperate state of the main character is perhaps one of the boldest artistic choices I've witnessed since Charlie Kaufman chose to put himself as a character in his film Adaptation. I won't spoil the ending, although you'll be able to see it coming. I'll just say this is going to be A HIT among the artsy crowd and might sweep the Oscars this year. I'm calling it now.

SCCL Blame-storm: Life is so real, you guys

Life is just so real sometimes. Like, sometimes you have something, and about 3.2 secs laters you just don't have it anymore, and there's nothing you can do about it. I think they call this 'real shit.' Sometimes you want to run away from the obvious, right? Maybe you're all happy about something, and it starts to suck, but you get used to it sucking, so instead of getting rid of it, you stick around and suffer with it, even though you 'wanna die sometimes'. They call it comfortable depression. I read about it on Twitterfall.

It's cool how you have to change the way you do things. Like, sometimes you try to get to the heart of closet case culture, in America, then you think you've gotten to the marrow and everything, and so you have to start basically making fun of Jake Gyllenhall in hopes of shaming him. Do I really think he's a clozzy? Maybe. But only because Reese Withsponianz is probs a lez. Don't sue me, y'all. It's just Sunday. Just trying to make it out alive. Just trying to decide if I should pay to see Watchmen or not. I hate spoilers is all. Gotta see it before the blogsphere blowhards it. Don't want to have to hurt sometone, or threaten violence.

Anyway, maybe there should be a big clozzy party? You think if I threw one, closetcases would really show up, or would it just be queenie twinks, who are in high school? Whatever, all I know is that I've seen the movie Step Up 2 tha Streets Y'all like 4 times already, and I don't even feel bad about it. Can I tell you a secret? I'm basically in love with the cast. Does that mean my life is probably empty? 

I blame the recession. I blame Barrack Obama. I blame my parents. I blame the Pope. I blame Polytheism. I blame HRO. I blame Facebook. I blame the Cobrasnake and Gawker dot com. I blame internet porn. I blame the Jonas Brothers (miss you guys). I blame the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album. I blame Liza Minelli.  I blame kids who used to wear NIN t-shirts. I blame Verizone Wireless. I blame Apple store employees. I blame hicks from the South. 

I blame closetcases. 

I blame me.

Call me in three years, bro.

party pix via cobrasnake

SCCL Moments: Keeling ur Idolls

Is it okay to look up to people? When I was younger I used to always have to, like, be in elementary school and shit. Why? Who knows, it's not like I'm using my sixth grade diploma for anything. But whatever, we had one assignment where we had to write about someone who we 'looked up to'. This was hard for me, because I realized at this moment, that I didn't look up to anybody. People were writin' bout their dad's and I was like I....don't exactly look up to him. So I realized at that moment that I needed an idol, and I needed one really fast.

So living in a suburbo-rural area, I decided to look up to the white trash guys who I wanted to love me because my parents didn't act like they did, you know? WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. Don't lie, okay, not in front of company. But I realized that these guys were on exisistential hamster wheels and would never really do anything to make sure they were set free. I realized I wasnt' shooting high enough in the stars for my idol, you guys. I needed to dig deeper.

Then I went back to not looking up to anyone, just hating everyone. That's when I decided that God had to die, and thus began my process of killing my idols, and also, killing yours. This process basically went on forever. I was allowed to appreciate someone's contributions to society, but I was not allowed to really think anyone was all that great (per the agreement I made with myself). Being a godless a-hole in a world of god-ly a-holes, made it so that it was easy to hate everyone who wasn't a good-looking guy. Through maybe Darwinism or something, I needed to like something/one, and so again, unfortunately, my this is what I would idolize.

Now I just appreciate people who do things that I want to do, or do already, but who seem to be doing them better than me, for whatever reason. This is called admiration and is not the same thing as looking up. It's more like looking at. WHAT IS MY POINT?? My point is it's always impossible for me to like something in anything more than a backhanded way (after the initial infatuation of liking it in the first place) and that maybe I should do something about that. As in, maybe you should, bro. Maybe YOU should.

SCCL Favorites

Because you have to eat yourself every once in a while, and I get afraid that my old posts will get lost, you guys. Read some, okay? Cool:

1) Read science about homosexuality.

2) #9: Sports

3) #10: Binge-drinking

4) #8: Promiscuity

5) #4: James Franco