#18: Their unselfconscious friend who happens to be hot

pics via here

Cuz he's not gonna care if you gently caress his chest and give him a lip kiss after an intense soccer match. Plus the social construct of your bro-based relationship essentially allows you to fall in love with him (and generate a sense that you are loved in return) without actuall having to come out of the closet or lie about your feelings ("I leave a lot out when I tell the truth"   - someone honest). Unselfconscious hot people have often been raised to have such a high level of self-esteem, that they pretty much notice how 'ghey' ur being, but they don't really make a big deal about it, because you're their bro, and that's all that matters. 

But for YOU, it means the universe. For YOU, there may never be a relationship that feels this meaningful and fullfilling while simultaneously being unsatisfying. Sure, your first real boyfriend might be satisfying in all the ways that this friendship is not, but is it really more meaningful? Can you really say you are loved more, or give more love, just because you found someone whose wants you to 'make him cum'? No, you're going to be dreaming about the one who 'got you', who lovingly didn't let you get away with bullshit, or who just let you be yourself without 'trying to change you' into something their parents will like. Or whatever the case may be. I mean, sure, love is love, and everyone deserves it, but for the closetcase, while he is a closetcase, the truest form of humanity/human comfort isn't the girl he's pretending to be interested in--it's the bro he's pretending he could care less about. 

Be careful out there.

Summer shape: Are you there yet?

Do you sometimes wish you were at a barbecue (or an underground parking garage, it's your life) with your shirt off? I would go to this 'block party' thing that one of my 'friends' would invite me to, and there would always be this shirtless guy there who was in great shape, and one or two other shirtless bros in less awesome shape, but still good enough that nobody tried to asphyxiate on their own vomit at how gross they were. I mean, this is America, so I know no one wants to WORK THAT HARD AT IT, but I know, deep down, people would like to have the option to be 'that guy' if they wanted. Obviously, the only people who even consider shedding clothes at a beer-fueled bbq are those who work on it, and, like, need to talk about it, or at least NEED YOU OGLING THEM, so it balances itself out.

Have you ever actually tried to reach this goal? Are you there yet? I figure it's sad and impossible to try to match the physique of someone in phote spreads, because you have NO IDEA what the lighintg and f-stop situation was at the shoot, so it's really hard to mimic editorial photography in real-life settings. You ever lift up your shirt in the bathroom, at the office?Flourescent lighting favors no man--it's a harsh reality. Just be careful with your summer-body goals, y'all.

pic via here

In the brain: Movies

Did I really watch Never Back Down? Not yet.

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Movies I have watched lately:

Synecdoche, New York: Rocked me gentle. I don't want to say this movie is amazing, but it's kind of effing genius. As in, you will probably not be exposed to something like this, done with this much inspiration, many more times maybe ever? If it speaks to you. If it doesn't, Starz has Never Back Down available on demand, which I'm gonna watch too, so don't feel bad.

Teeth: the vagina with teeth movie. It was very good, darkly entertains, bros.

Diary of the Dead: hokey as hell. Worth it for telegenic cast and violence; not much else goin for it.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall: funny. Mila Kunis is extraordinarily pretty, really, you guys.

Religulous: Good if you're into that kinda thing. Athiests probably need to grow some balls, is my conclusion.

Rec: Already talked about it. Is good.

Step Up 2 the Streets, Bro: already talked about. Good dancing, by the numbers everything else.

Rachel Getting Married: Good. Only a couple boring scenes, but features the most fun wedding after-party you will ever see, this year.

I got the pictures above from here.

HAPPY XMASSS

The 25th is my best friend's birthday. Maybe you've met? He is Jesus and I didn't get him a gift, because of the recession and being gay. Amen.

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That's the dude from MGMT up there. I don't really listen to them because I'm trying to cut back on people telling me to put bands on my iPod or they won't like me, so I only listen to "Electric Feel" because I don't feel like spending cash pounds just to find out that I don't like their record (old argument, yea, we know). The picture is from Hipster Runoffz, and what I learn reading Carles is that it's okay to like Justice more than other musical band groups, because it's just okay to like things that make life fit into functional 4/4 time groupings with cool bass solos dubbed in the center of the mix, toward the end of the track. It's okay, because you say it is, and it's your life.

That said, I finally saw A Cross the Universe and it made me feel, in NPO:

-alone

-happy

-pumped

-excited for the future

-more interested in Justice

-that Kavinsky maybe doesnt have so many songs cuz maybe he parties too hard?

-that SebastiAn doesn't do interviews because he's shy, not cuz ppl don't ask

-scared

-jealous

-like being there for my friends

-sober

-like I'm wasting my life

Smiles are contagious.