In life: 100 post mark

I made it to about a hundred posts sometime this week. Not sure when, although I could easily check, and it got me thinking about how I like the site better now that I'm not 'trying to sound smart', even though I liked this place back then too. Guess maybe it just means I like what I'm doing, as long as I'm doing what I want? Anyway, that picture up there is from here. Here are some links, though, in honor of this landmark moment, on this Friday the 13th, of some posts I wrote, in which I actually like what I wrote, and didn't just use it as an excuse to 'post hot bros.'

-We talked about 'getting drunk' to hide your pain

-We talked about sports

-We talked about science

-We talked about religion and gay people in American society

-We talked about misinformation

In the news: oh, brother

This is a picture of pro footballer Joe Montana's 18 y/o son for you to look at whenever the following news gets too depressing, which it will almost immediately. News:

-There's a club for gays and straights in Florida that can meet now. [ap]

-It's looking like gheys in Washington state will likely get full benefits under civil-unions, making them equitable to marriage, and ppl are pissed because they think marriage will be gunned for next. Look, people: you worship a book of fairy tales. Get the fuck over it. [seattle times]

-They're pushing for that Harvey Milk Day in California--from the article: "The Capitol Resource Institute has previously stated of the attempt to pass a Harvey Milk Day that, "This is yet another example of the campaign to normalize homosexual behavior not just in schools, but in our culture. We must continue to defend our traditional values despite the effort to demolish the very values that established and sustain our nation."" I hate god, like, 99% of the time, y'all. [shewired]

-Sweet, there's more of this shit: "San Francisco Archbishop George Niederauer told the Most Holy Redeemer Church in the city's Castro neighborhood that an Atherton Catholic school's production of a play that details an adolescent's struggle with his homosexuality and his Christian faith was not to be performed. 

Students from Sacred Heart Preparatory, under the direction of drama instructor John Loschmann, have produced an adaption of Alex Sanchez's controversial novel The God Box entitled "Be Still and Know."" [msnbc]

-People who want to adopt kids (you know what kind of people) face off with Florida for the sake of that right. [miamiherald]

picture from here

Equal Rights For Everyone!!!

"About 100 Iowans gathered at the Statehouse today to protest inaction on legislation to reverse the state’s public smoking ban. Many alleged the law is unconstitutional, the subject of a lawsuit that is scheduled for trial on June 29." [demoineregister]

FIGHT THE POWER

cobrasnake pic

Where have all the aryans gone??

Have you noticed that it seems like there aren't really that many Aryans around anymore? Is it just that they are the new Julia Roberts (meaning, big at one point, but now only attractive/interesting in a quaint, almost boring way)? Do you think  they voted for Obama, or do they still have the Zig-zig-a-zig heil [via Aushwitz Spice] thing going on? I met one a while back, and he said I had a gay vibe, which: a) I did not hit on him in ANY way b) I don't really have a gay vibe unless you like, really get me excited about something (okay, only a little excited). Techinically, I told some dude to come sleep in bed with me right in front of this other kid, which is pretty ghey, but that's not a VIBE, you guys. He cheated. That's EVIDENCE, so don't act like you're all intuitive and shit. That's like saying a Mikey Bay movie gives you a 'splodey vibe. Whatever. I want to go to there (aryan wonderland, that is).

SCCL Blame-storm: Life is so real, you guys

Life is just so real sometimes. Like, sometimes you have something, and about 3.2 secs laters you just don't have it anymore, and there's nothing you can do about it. I think they call this 'real shit.' Sometimes you want to run away from the obvious, right? Maybe you're all happy about something, and it starts to suck, but you get used to it sucking, so instead of getting rid of it, you stick around and suffer with it, even though you 'wanna die sometimes'. They call it comfortable depression. I read about it on Twitterfall.

It's cool how you have to change the way you do things. Like, sometimes you try to get to the heart of closet case culture, in America, then you think you've gotten to the marrow and everything, and so you have to start basically making fun of Jake Gyllenhall in hopes of shaming him. Do I really think he's a clozzy? Maybe. But only because Reese Withsponianz is probs a lez. Don't sue me, y'all. It's just Sunday. Just trying to make it out alive. Just trying to decide if I should pay to see Watchmen or not. I hate spoilers is all. Gotta see it before the blogsphere blowhards it. Don't want to have to hurt sometone, or threaten violence.

Anyway, maybe there should be a big clozzy party? You think if I threw one, closetcases would really show up, or would it just be queenie twinks, who are in high school? Whatever, all I know is that I've seen the movie Step Up 2 tha Streets Y'all like 4 times already, and I don't even feel bad about it. Can I tell you a secret? I'm basically in love with the cast. Does that mean my life is probably empty? 

I blame the recession. I blame Barrack Obama. I blame my parents. I blame the Pope. I blame Polytheism. I blame HRO. I blame Facebook. I blame the Cobrasnake and Gawker dot com. I blame internet porn. I blame the Jonas Brothers (miss you guys). I blame the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album. I blame Liza Minelli.  I blame kids who used to wear NIN t-shirts. I blame Verizone Wireless. I blame Apple store employees. I blame hicks from the South. 

I blame closetcases. 

I blame me.

Call me in three years, bro.

party pix via cobrasnake

In the news: murder

Stories like this are always awesome, right guys? I mean, gay people suck it soooo hard. Check it out:

"Lawrence "Larry" King wasn't sexually harassing fellow eighth-grade student Brandon McInerney in the weeks leading up to King's shooting death, prosecutors contend in court documents.
McInerney was the aggressor, teasing the effeminate King for weeks and vowing to "get a gun and shoot" him, according to a prosecution brief. Multiple students provided accounts of a growing hostility between the two boys, the document shows." [lat]

#13: Being religious

Because religion is nothing if not a set of inarguable justifications. For behavior, for intentions--they are rules, and if you are following rules, then you are not suspicious, are not a suspect. You are noble. At first, religion can just be an excuse, internally, for why the closetcase can never come to terms with who he truly is--being gay is a sin (ask anybody) and if he is spending his life avoiding sin, then what does it mean if there is a sin LIVING INSIDE OF HIM?? How does one come to terms with that over which he has no control? There are two ways to go here.

One: You can tell yourself that 'everybody has these types of feelings' and that makes it a CHOICE and you are CHOOSING not to be gay. I have met people like this. "Being gay is a choice." "Did you choose to be straight then?" "YES I DID." "Oh..." If it is a choice, then you are straight, and there is a cure, and you will be okay. Being gay becomes like alcoholism--maybe something you are predisposed to, but can overcome with enough conviction. It is TEMPTATION, and the godbible says that temptation is the devilbot and must be overcome, y'all. This is good for the closetcase because he is scared as shit of his true feelings and of losing everyone he loves, and of going to HELL. Remedy? Stop believing in fairytales, stop fearing death, and live while you still can. The other scenario?

Scenario Two: Realize that being gay is not a choice, but living a lie is a choice, and choose to do that. This doesn't even come with the awesome mania of religious zealotry. This is just openly choosing to hate yourself and everyone around you, but allowing some chick, who doesn't know any better because she's as dumb as you are, to marry your stupid ass and be miserable with you forever and shit. What will happen, invariably, is this gay side of you will begin to seep out, slowly at first, then more rapidly, with more intensity, until you are blowing people you shouldn't. Maybe it's a cop in a bathroom. Maybe it's a weak-minded young person whom you are taking advantage of. Whatever, the point is, it will be unhealthy, and you will be middle-aged by this point, and it will be over for you. You would have left a trail of unhappiness in your wake, and how do you justify that enough to go to heaven, brah? We love you, we're just saying. The remedy? Get a boyfriend.

Of course some people need some kind of faith in something, especially if having faith in themselves is not enough, or if they really like their parents and so have to pretend to believe what their parents told them or else they will feel as if they are betraying them. We can tell from experience, y'all: it's hard to put your future in your own hands entirely, instead of partially in a god's. It takes a lot of work. So we start small. Just choose not to use people out of fear. Everybody has feelings, and just because you don't care about your own doesn't mean it's okay to not care about other people's. If you don't want to come out, just shut up about anything gay. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT IT. Good, bad, you cannot be an authority, bro. The next step would be liking yourself, and realizing that maybe if believing in something is ruining your life, maybe it's not for you. We wish the world was different, too. So bad, y'all.

Party pix via the cobra snake

In the news: Buncha stuff

There's like a gay character in a video game or something. This matters, y'all. [examiner]

Some Khristians want the 'right to hate fggts' or something. Pretty sure you already have that right, buddy. [guardianUK]

"James O'Connor (19) one of the men accused of murdering gay Liverpool teen, Michael Causer, in an allegedly homophobic attack, yesterday pleaded guilty to murdering Causer, but as part of his plea insisted that the motive was not homophobia." I mean, honestly, when someone gets killed, the death is probably the bigger deal. [lgf-dot-org]

Iceland is set to appoint the first openly gay Prime Minister. Wait, wait, don't get excited--it's just a lesbian. (Kidding, love lesbians, for real). [ap]

"Thousands are expected in Denver for a gay-rights conference opening Wednesday.The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force says more than 2,000 people are expected at the downtown Denver conference that runs through the weekend." [slt]

"It didn't take long for Utah gay-rights advocates, uplifted after energetic rallies and supportive polls, to be brought down to earth. On day two of the 2009 Legislature, the first in a series of gay-rights bills -- seemingly the least controversial piece in the Common Ground Initiative -- died Tuesday in the Senate judiciary committee." [slt]

Gay people can't be homos in the army and someone made a doc about it. [afterElton]

New Mexico wants samesex gay fucking marriage to boys or something? Dunno, can't read, y'all. [ontop]

#12: Societies General Ignorance About What 'Gay' Actually Is, and What it Isn't

Because if everyone actually understood homosexuality, they would realize you're a total closetcase.  

The way it works, 80% of the country is Christian, and, historically, but, most importantly, in the now, Evangelical Christians have been the most vocally outspoken against teh gays. It's science. But, what that also means is that the majority of the American Gays were raised Christian, but only the gay ones know that there's nothing they could do about it. They like cock and that's that. The myth of it being a choice is a misconception that allows even the most flaming of closetcases to 'not be gay' because they are 'choosing not to live that lifestyle'. What people aren't realizing is You Are Gay. You don't pick that shit. So that totally gay dude is totally gay, he just isn't acting on it. Do you know how 'gay' I was when I was a kid? Very. I probably got butcher as I got older, but, seriously, there wasn't a lot of choice going on there. I wasn't into peens til puberty, but I was a total homo way before sex was an option.

A coworker defended a prominent celebrity from 'being called gay' by saying, "He can't be gay, he's a christian." I wanted to throw a bucket of dead frogs at her, but this only goes to show the misconception, and how closetcases use it to their advantage. Sure, if everyone was tolerant, there'd be no need to be a 'case to begin with, but these are the people helping to perpetuate this cycle. Knowing more gays, and knowing MORE ABOUT gays would help homosexuals have a better time in the world, but closetcases are not intersted in this. They only want to cover their own asses. They want to marry some poor-sap straight girl, who will totally marry this gey guy ('cause gay guys are hot, especially closetcases), and then raise a bunch of intolerant kids who can go on spreading the ignorance that serves as a cover for future generations of repressed 'cases.*

Because 'cases are angry. At themselves, at the world. They have nothing to gain from encouraging their Actually Straight counterparts to educate themselves. Nobody wants to believe science--they want to believe what they are told by people who don't scare them. Fancy scientists, with their elitist tests and measurements are the enemy in this country, and in the Middle East and the Black Community and stuff. It is in these regions that the closetcase can feel the safest, can persecute the most, and can hid in a house of ignorace, forever.

*The idea being, people are born Christian, not born gay, that they chose to be that way. This ignorance makes people not only feel safer, but 'better' than gay people. It allows them to believe that 'something is wrong' with gay people. They will say things like, "Something's wrong with that guy, don't know what it is" or "He acts funny sometimes." Because being gay is like being Edward Scissorhands--the world does not get you, they just know that you must be destroyed.

pics via LNP and CS

Breif News Things

- Prince Harry is awesome if you're gay because he kissed a boy or something (if you wear things on your head resembling towels, however, not so awesome perhaps?) [ap]

-"Every two or three days a person is killed in Brazil in violence connected with his or her sexuality, according to Brazil’s oldest gay rights association, Grupo Gay da Bahia (GGB). In Mexico, the reported figure is nearly two a week." [unaids]

-"Eleven people were charged today with chanting abuse at Portsmouth defender Sol Campbell during a Premiership match with Tottenham Hotspur last year.

The group, which includes two 15-year-olds and a 13-year-old, is alleged to have subjected the former England player to indecent chanting during the club's 2-0 home win against Spurs at Fratton Park in September." It's gay related, trust me. [guardian uk]

-Al Sharpton is supporting gay marriage (this is cool to me). [TRP]

-Rick Warren sucks, as always. [usnews]

#11: Not being alone

Because there are so many voices in our heads, all the time, sometimes all at once, screaming--meaning, like, nobody wants to be alone, let alone a closetcasey. Even if it's just being at the bar, our favorite, unattractive but funny in a 'you should do stand-up' way buddy's hand around our shoulder.

The truth about our sexual nature's can be dibilitatingly frightening sometimes, especially if we are an ethnic minority. Our largely marginilized culture has to have a lot of pride here in the State's, and has fostered a practice of cultural homophobia to align itself with the thoughts of Jezuz Christ, the American war god. What this means is we can never 'come out' of our shells 100%, and so must spend 89% of our lives alone, crying--having a family member, like your cool older sister, is clutch in this case, as she prevents us from being alone.

Or maybe you've already come out as 'a hipster' (which makes you gay), but there are no other gays in your small Texas town, but sometimes bands like Digitalism or Clues comes to town, and we bring our two best girlfriends along, because they've been getting into electro too. We might not find a man to hold us and tell us we'll be okay for another 10, 15 years. Maybe he'll be at this YYYs show, maybe he won't. Either way, you've got your two best gfs, so you'll never really be able to say no one was there for you you're whole life, even though it felt that way.

Maybe the other guys at the Auto Body Shoppe are jerks and always calling people and things faggots, like, 'this faggy coffee machine don't work, braa,' and so you want to come out to them, but you're afraid of losing the only friends you have, even if the friendship isn't based on trust or honesty, just based on an isolating work schedule and beer. There might be a 'vampire bar' nearby, where you can be yourself, not feel like the walls are closing in on you, like life isn't worth living. Maybe you listen to "Someday is Tonight" from Rhythm Nation on the drive over.

Or maybe you just take druqz to survive the daily horrorscape of a waking life restricted by Social Mores established when the Pope got to make all the rules, and scared people into not sucking each others' penises, or rubbing their vaginas together. Maybe you've found 'the one' who will do psychodelics with you, and laff, and talk about politics and Hunter Thompson, and think that Music was a good Madonna album, for the kind of music it is. 

Sometimes we're forced to be alone because being gay is a sin from the Bill of Sins, which was written by the Founding Fathers of America, and, even tho we were raised to think it's cool, everyone else wasn't. Or maybe we were raised to want to drag fags from trucks, and so our Corbin Fisher membership is 'our business'. Whatever the sitch, closetcases effect everyone, probably even the economy. Choose wisely. Fin

Photos by Cobrasnake

Concept by HRO

Picture post: Thoughts on what we want from the future

Brought to you by the Cobra Snake:

Reading hipsty runny has made me realize that maybe I should have a less demanding job that allows me to party more. Partying on new years eve showed me that what I'm missing is carefreeness and youthfulness. But the thing is, I've got, like, goals. These guys probably have goals too, though.

Getting pussy is a goal for some. Or hiding the desire for dick. Whatever, sometimes having a goal is a full-time job in itself. Ever since i was younger, I was able to mimic really well. I'd find a writer I liked, and I'd learn how to write just like them. Find a band I like, write songs like them. This has been happening with my blogging too, and I don't know how to fix it.

I lost my phone over the summer and had to get a crap one for free. Now, when I get phone calls, I want to cry because the phone sux dick bags, but in the bad way. I want to party with people who have a lot of money and no blemishes. Who chew on straws because they're coked up.

I don't ever want to work in the food-service industry tho. People only do it because they have to. I might get laid off; I might have to.

I can't wait til it gets warm out here on the east coast. I want to go to bar-be-cues and take off my shirt and smile and do drugs with people I only hang out with because I'm not dating anyone, but plan to drop as soon as I have a partner.

I want to move out of New Jersey. I want to not have to explain where I'm coming from to people. I want everyone I know to love themselves. Is there a place on earth like that? It used to be New York, but I don't know anymore. I might have to go see for myself for an 'extended stay'. I want one of my best friends to go with me. I don't want to be alone.

I want to stop doing drugs, but I don't really think I want to stop. I'm pretty sure I don't want to stop drinking, though. I want to make money doing what I love. I want to love something that loves me back. I want to be able to afford to eat food whenever I want it. I want my cat to be neutered. Will the new year be able to fit all of these things into it, along with World Peace and a new Harry Potter movie? Won't you find out with me? The end.

2k9 homo-core news cycle

Happy New Year! The news isn't all bad this time:

People who are in the closet are prone to have less healthy sexual habits because they secretly hate homos (themselves). [aidsmap]

Cuba thinks they may be able to acheive social utopianism, let boys and girls marry each other. [mrzine]

A kid in Dallas was run over by a car. This isn't relevant to closetcasies, it just sucks. [pegasus news]

A man and a transgendered person (his lover I guess? too many words to read) got killed but they keep referring to the trans one as a bro, when she's kinda clearly a chick. Nitpicky? [huffpo]

A bunch of dykes and homos calling themselves a 'marching band' will be at Barack Hoosayne Obambamz swearing in parade, before being smited with lightening bolts by pastor Rick 'thunderfists' Warren. [msnbc]

We told you about that lesbian who was attacked and raped by a bunch of dudes? Apparently other people have heard of it too, including law enforcement officials. [mercury news]

"More than a dozen families filed a lawsuit Tuesday challenging a new Arkansas law banning unmarried couples living together from becoming foster or adoptive parents." 'Unmarried couples' is code for 'gaysexualz', in case you missed the significance there. [fosters.com]

#10: Binge Drinking

Because lowered inhibitions are an excuse to do anything, including 'act kinda gay', especially if kinda refers to the true inner you that you're suppressing because you were raised religious/with 'traditional values'/are still in high school/have bonehead friends or think you do. Drinking too much and very lots also allows the trad excuse of "dude, I was so wasted" before anybody even mentions that you fondled their cock (over their jeans) or tried to kiss them or told them you were in love with them, or "Bro, I don't remember anything after those shots", which what is used AFTER someone brings up that you guys maybe made out with each other/tugged ones alongside one another.

Drinking also allows the Closetbro [ednote; obsessed w Carles] to hook up with girls, who are usually boring/ugly/just friends/like a sister/the girl version of them. It allows them to not feel bad about playing themselves out (denying their true journey) and duping unsuspecting honeys into wasting time on someone who is wasting time on themselves. Drinking heavily may also allow one to visit Corbin Fisher (en-ess-eff-dubs) just to check out the bods and rub a little, or sit in a haze next to their bro who smells really good tonight, what cologne is that? Cool, can I hold you, I think we're connecting?

Basically, alks makes life better and will be the bees knees during the Greatest Depression Ever, so it's obvious that it also helps make the Closet case okay with marrying this chick who was only supposed to make him forget how pissed his dad will be if he ever came out so he never can. It helps him not hang himself when his wife is all I'm pregnant, dumby. It'll make hurting himself socially acceptable because it's okay to drink yourself into perpetual numbness and early graveness since prohibition is over. It's just not okay to be gay, so drink up gay boy, no one can tell, really. You're mad butch.

Well, if the Pope says it, it gots to be true

My theory is that the Pope is basically useless, but that's just me:

A suggestion by Pope Benedict XVI that homosexuality is as much of a threat to the survival of the human race as climate change sparked outrage among gay rights campaigners on Tuesday.
"It's the latest homophobic attack by this pope," said Gustav Hofer, co-director of a documentary on the life of a gay couple in Italy called "Suddenly Last Winter".

"The Vatican talks about homosexuality or transsexuality as if it were a whim, never as suffering," Hofer told AFP, adding that the Roman Catholic Church "reduces sexual orientation to the sexual act as if it had nothing to do with a person's identity." [afp]

Hahaha, you guys just don't get Bennie's sense of humor. He's really nice when it's just me and him, swears.

===

Melissa Etheridge and that chick from Popular are stupid, but it's ok. [edge boston]

===

"A woman in the San Francisco Bay area was jumped by four men, taunted for being a lesbian, repeatedly raped and left naked outside an abandoned apartment building, authorities said Monday." ...in America. Teach your kids, assholes. Seriously, stop. [ap]

==

Rick Warren sucks and is too useless but Obama either thinks he needs him, or thinks it's cool to have a super religious white friend, and either way is cool, if you're into that. I'm not a judge, dude! [on top]

In the news: The Song Remains the Same

No, the picture has nothing to do with the posts. It's just for artistic purposes? Whatever, read the news instead, if you like:

Sean Penn thinks making a movie where he's a big icon of some movement or other means he can admire any icon, represnting any movement he damn well pleases, and that is NOT cool, bro. [LAT]

A dude was walking arm-in-arm with his bro, as in, his real brother, and they got beat up, and the thing might be that the attackers thought they were h to the omos, so let them have it. [ap]

Gay people might get some gay rights (those are regular rights, sculpted to look gay) in Ohio of all places. [plain dealer]

Some dudes in the UK are being Police Style looked for because they made phobic chants at a soccer match, and guess what? DOING THAT IS ILLEGAL THERE! [pinknews]

Somebody wrote the movie Milk, and is capable of conducting interviews, which he has done. [SBIndependent]

Those people who wear scarves indoors and watch Project Runway took off of work yesterday so that their coworkers could get a day free of fuckin' nancies. The impact is discussed (I went to work). [ChiTrib]

Theater, Judy Garland, rainbow-colored advert font. [broadway.com]

FINALLY: Here is Led Zeppelin being awesomer than most, playing Dazed and Confused, because that's just how it is.

In the world: Wednesday is Human Rights Day

One, tomorrow is Nat'l Gay People Should Call Out of Work and Get Fired Day, which I shall not be participating in (sorry, bro-mos). Second, tomorrow the UN will here a motion or something to call for the global decriminalization (in the uk version, this word is spelled with an 's' not a 'z') of being That Way. From the UK Guardian:

It will be the first time in its history that the UN General Assembly has
considered the issue of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) human
rights.
Although it will not be binding on the member states, the
declaration will have immense symbolic value, given the six decades in which
homophobic persecution has been ignored by the UN.

Member states will not be bound by this, as in, like, have to give shit. The implications are that now it will be Officially Frowned-Upon. You see, many countries (including this one) do not always make decisions based on science, but by what Space Jesus and the intergalactic planet-devourer, Allah, sayeth, through their confessional, co-autobiographical memoir, The Bible: How We Got a Bunch of Assholes to Live Their Lives Based on Fairytales. 86 Countries on this 21st Century planet Earth outlaw ghey sexytimes, with some Islamic regions making this punishable by DEATH (for newcomers, death is what God specifically forbade his adherents to inflict on each other; forget that, though--this is about homos):

Unsurprisingly, the Vatican and the Organisation of Islamic
States are leading the fight against the UN declaration. The opposition of
the Pope is truly sickening, depraved and shameless. Of course, the Vatican
has form. In 2004, it teamed up with Islamist dictatorships in the UN Commission
on Human Rights to thwart a resolution sponsored by Brazil that opposed homophobic violence and discrimination. The Holy See is so viciously homophobic that it opposed the UN condemnation of the murder of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

Last week, the papal envoy to the UN, Monsignor Celestino Migliore,
explained the "logic" of this opposition when he announced
the Vatican's rejection of this week's decriminalisation declaration. The
monsignor argued that the UN declaration would unfairly "pillory" countries
where homosexuality is illegal; forcing them to establish "new categories (gay
people) protected from discrimination." Such laws would "create new and
implacable acts of discrimination ... States where same-sex unions are not
recognized as 'marriages,' for example, would be subject to international
pressure."

In other words, protecting LGBT people against discrimination is
an act of discrimination against those who discriminate. Since the Vatican is
against discrimination, it opposes discrimination against countries that
discriminate. This is the mediaeval mindset of the Pope and his placemen.

The Pope is an asshole. What surprises me, though (and, I think, underscores my ignorance) is that support for ending this discrimination is coming from many Latin American countries, which others may have led us to believe, heretofore, were all a bunch of closet-cases, overcompensating by being all hatey or whatever. Also, get this: Australia and the US Amerikkka are not on board with this!! But CANADA IS!! So are the Kiwis! People sometimes wonder why I hate everything under the wretched Red Sun of god, and here, from this same article, is an example of why. If your little ones are having trouble sleeping, here is a TRUE bedtime story you can read to them--it should not only help them rest, but make sure they know whose side they should be on if they want you to basicaly not be grossed and ashamed whenever you look at them:

On December 5 2007, Makvan Mouloodzadeh, a 21-year-old Iranian man, was hanged in Kermanshah Central Prison, after an unfair trial. A member of Iran's persecuted Kurdish minority, he was executed on charges of raping other boys when he was 13. In other words, he committed these alleged acts when he was minor. According to Iranian law, a boy under 15 is a minor and cannot be executed. At Makvan's mockery of a trial, the alleged rape victims retracted their previous statements, saying they had made their allegations under duress. Makvan pleaded not guilty, telling the court that his confession was made under torture. He was hanged anyway, without a shred of credible evidence that he had even had sex with the boys, let alone raped them.
The lies, defamation and homophobia of the debauched Iranian legal system was
exposed when hundreds of villagers attended Makvan's funeral. People
don't mourn rapists. This execution was bare-faced homophobic judicial murder,
according to Arsham Parsi, Executive Director, of the underground Iranian Queer Railroad, which helps Iranian LGBTs fleeing arrest, torture and execution.

Haha, gay people are such assholes. Maybe I won't go to work tomorrow.

[guardian]

#9: Sports

Because what young people need as they get older is an identity, and sports provide that, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Goths have the dark arts, drama gheys have theatre, and kids whose parents either recognize that sports are a good start to a healthy life (that these kids will grow to squander by binge drinking and snorting rails) or realize that they are old and that life sucks and must live vicariously/perilously through their sons, have sports.

Sports also foster discipline, which is good for guys who have a strong sense of self, as it will be a way to harness focus when they find something that focus will aid in improving. For people without spines, however, discipline can quickly turn into conformity, which is why sports programs (especially in movies) have the reputation for being full of arrogant pricks who are slaves to (and perpetuate) the idea of popularity as a virtue. Everybody is different unless they are trainted not to be! And building a belief system that can stem from the values of being good at a sport, this is something that happens to one without totally realizing it, so when they are put into a situation that forces them to self-analyze (such as realizing they might like dudes), they can be totally thrown off and angry/confused--a closet will be borne, and a case will cling to this masculine identity for dear life, and who could blame them.

The problem is older people being in the closet, but that could be the problem across the board. No out-N-proud pro athletes means none at the high school level, or college, because gays are the devil broken up into millions of little Degrassi fans. But seriously, the straight teammates think only weirdos are ghey, the ghey ones think if they act tough no one will suspect them (thereby perpetuating the cliches and misinformations that keep their cages locked so tight), and a million little lost connections are made, and youthful years wasted, because of fear.

If one is hell-bent on never coming out while simultaneously making life more difficult for others, athletic heroism is the perfect cover to employ. If you're in love with your friend Daniel, but would rather die than admit that to yourself, why not become awesome at footballing, get a hot girlfriend, and call people fags all the time? IT'S THE PERFECT CRIME, and, also, it's moral, because you are only hurting yourself (and your girlfriend and eventual children, but they don't count!). This isn't Spartan times--athletes aren't allowed to notice how hot each other are, or blow one another to commemorate a job well-done (not yet!), so the closeted athlete won't even partake in the straight baller's antics of ass/ball slapping, playing nudging or hugging, or European man-kissing.

Are you part of a sports club and also straight? After a big win, go around doing ghey stuff to people, the ones that act the most offended and grossed out (the ones who act like they have the most to lose by being okay with this) those are the ones you need to hug closer and say, "No matter what, you're still my teammate and my friend and I love you. And that probably goes for all the guys here, too." Then hold him at arm's length and appraise him, then look him in the eye and say, "Do you know what I mean?" He'll probably call you a homo, but he'll never forget that you did it, and will never be able to say that nobody, ever in his life, tried to be there for him. (Plus, when one comes out after all those years of sports, they are both butch, and have a rockin body, and that will make them POPULAR AS FUCK! Which is their Earthly wont.)

Everyday is a holiday, post 3: The science of the gays

Yeah, everyone knows America's hottest new religion is Teh Geighs, founded by Pink Mafia underworld captain Cheyenne Jackson (pictured, above, on a pants-dropping mission). This is true historical fact so please do not do independant research confirming it because it is a waste of time. All adherents to Geighs knows that they have made a choice to spite Jesus by constantly watching Xtube videos without donating money and downloading torrents of Bel Ami features with no intentions of actually buying the films. Like we said, it's a choice, except it's not, because science says so:

Researchers are finding common biological traits among gay men, feeding a growing consensus that sexual orientation is an inborn combination of genetic and environmental factors that largely decide a person's sexual attractions before they are born.

Hmm. Science is bullshit, but okay, I'm listening:

Such findings — including a highly anticipated study this winter — would further inform the debate over whether homosexuality is innate or a choice, an undercurrent of the recent Proposition 8 campaign in which television commercials warned that "schools would begin teaching second-graders that boys could marry boys," suggesting homosexuality would then spread.

Some scientists say the political and moral debate over same-sex marriage frequently strayed from established scientific evidence, including comments by vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin that homosexuality is "a choice" and "a decision."

Look, I don't need scyence to tell me Sarah Palin basically sucks. She made a decision to be annoying yet pretty and I totally tolerate that. Okay what else?

A host of studies since the mid-1990s have found common biological traits between gay men, including left-handedness and the direction of hair whorls. The likelihood that if one identical twin is gay, the other will also be gay is much higher than the "concordance" of homosexuality between fraternal twins, indicating that genes play a role in sexual orientation, but are not the entire cause.

"In the past decade, I think the pendulum has swung more toward biological theory and biological causes," said Richard Lippa, a psychology professor at California State University-Fullerton, who has studied hair patterns and other biological traits in gay men."
Sven Bocklandt, a geneticist at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, is bewildered by the argument that people choose their sexual attraction. He said that virtually every animal species that has been studied — from sheep to fruit flies — has a small minority of individuals who demonstrate homosexual activity.

"I really believe the reason most humans are straight is the same reason that most crocodiles are straight, and the same reason most whales are straight," Bocklandt said. "Nature would not leave something so important for reproduction, for the survival of the species, to coincidence."

Less understood is the degree to which sexual orientation is determined by genes or environmental factors, such as hormones or immunological factors that may act on a fetus. What scientists call "the fraternal birth order effect," the fact that each successive boy born to the same mother has a greater chance of being gay,may be due to an increasing immunological response by a mother's body to each male fetus in her womb.

Long discredited are theories that parenting — one mid-20th century
theory held that boys raised by a domineering mother with a distant father were
more likely to be gay — has anything to do with sexual orientation.

Wow, that was a long one. I suggest you go read the article because it's interesting and actually well-written, which I am not ever, except sometimes when I'm drunk and no one tries to stop me. I'm gay (if you're into labels, which I'm not, blahblahblah just love me pleez), and I believe all this biological research, and I also know that it doesn't account for closets, dudes who you may hit on but who are all like [whiny voice], "I have a girlfriend, I fuck chicks, I like football but Brady Quinn is a homo" etc etc. So they could have all the hair whirls and swishy walks (one study I read pointed out that biologically gay men tend to pivot their hips when they walk and straights pivot their shoulders; KEEP AN EYE OUT!) in the world, if they aint touchin peenies at sexytime it don't mean a whole lot, now does it, Charlie? No, it does not.

The other thing is, Dr Drew Pinsky of the LurveLines and Celebrity Realityhabs, he used to always ask gay guys who would call up about stuff "was your mother an overbearing bitch?" and they'd be like, yes! Why would this be common among gay males (which it was) if it didn't have some affect on how they turned out? The other thing is, it could be a symptom of mothers of gay sons--they emasculate them in a misguided attempt to change the behavior that they perceive leads to gayness when it in fact is simply a sign of it. Who knows.

The other thing Dr Drew would do, is he would ask gay guys if they had been molested when they were younger, at an age where they could remember it, and if it was by a dude. Whenever he would ask this, he would almost always be right (I don't remember what about these gay guys would tip him off, sorry [sadface]). Our boy Mark Foley, of congressional page texting fame, acknowledges being gay, has a partner, but says he was molested when he was young too. Again, this doesn't mean the kid-touching is causing it, it could just be that these pervs see a particular sign in these kids and take advantage of it. These are simply relationships I have come across in the past, is all I'm saying. In the movie Happiness, by Todd Solondz, the gay kid is molested by Dylan Baker's character. In Augusten Burroughs's Running with Scissors, he is taken advantage of by an older male, at about the age of twelve if I'm not mistaken (he was pretty certain he was gay before this ever happened). Whatever, my point is, there is science, and there is what you think, and if you ain't quotin' science of some other smart soundin' shit, please don't talk about BIG TOPICS or something ignant if you CAN avoid it only, unless you are a philosopher, LIKE ME, whereupon ignorance is not only allowed, but MANDATORY ARRGH!

[walks away, trips over endtable and breaks face]

[mercury news]

In the world: Leftovers

*The Rugby Football League is starting a campaign to fight homophobia, as an addition of work they do with the LGB community, not because their fans hate gay people. Cool beenz either way, yes? One of their players came out years ago, and nobody's head exploded, so they think it might help everyone to get over it also. [brand republic]

*A call in England to squelch a bit of the old h-phobia, as is it's on the rise, they say. [W&B Times]

*In Australia, two public health officials think gays are tatamount to insane peoples, so their having hearings about it. Or something. [telegraph]

*Most of these stories I find on homophobia are from out of the UK. Why is that?

*myPartner dot com is afraid that eHarmonies new Homo Matchmakingz department will be too awesome and will thusly destroy them. [marketwatch]

*Oh, Mike Huckabee is an idiot and either uninformed, misinformed, or a liar. [prideSource]

*Being gay sucks, but more if you live in Iran. Just sayin. [hurriyet]

*Look--gay marriage is likely not happening for, like, years. We get it. [nytimes]

Oh, lastly, googling 'rugby players' at work might get you fired. Just putting it out there; (these guys play(ed) for Duke, btw...