Wednesday, December 24, 2008

#10: Binge Drinking

Because lowered inhibitions are an excuse to do anything, including 'act kinda gay', especially if kinda refers to the true inner you that you're suppressing because you were raised religious/with 'traditional values'/are still in high school/have bonehead friends or think you do. Drinking too much and very lots also allows the trad excuse of "dude, I was so wasted" before anybody even mentions that you fondled their cock (over their jeans) or tried to kiss them or told them you were in love with them, or "Bro, I don't remember anything after those shots", which what is used AFTER someone brings up that you guys maybe made out with each other/tugged ones alongside one another.

Drinking also allows the Closetbro [ednote; obsessed w Carles] to hook up with girls, who are usually boring/ugly/just friends/like a sister/the girl version of them. It allows them to not feel bad about playing themselves out (denying their true journey) and duping unsuspecting honeys into wasting time on someone who is wasting time on themselves. Drinking heavily may also allow one to visit Corbin Fisher (en-ess-eff-dubs) just to check out the bods and rub a little, or sit in a haze next to their bro who smells really good tonight, what cologne is that? Cool, can I hold you, I think we're connecting?

Basically, alks makes life better and will be the bees knees during the Greatest Depression Ever, so it's obvious that it also helps make the Closet case okay with marrying this chick who was only supposed to make him forget how pissed his dad will be if he ever came out so he never can. It helps him not hang himself when his wife is all I'm pregnant, dumby. It'll make hurting himself socially acceptable because it's okay to drink yourself into perpetual numbness and early graveness since prohibition is over. It's just not okay to be gay, so drink up gay boy, no one can tell, really. You're mad butch.

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