Greatest art house film of the last five years

It's a seriodramatic comedy called Never Back Down, and it is discusses themes of things not being what they appear, and tackles the different layers behind our understanding of the world and language--this is all implied, but it serves as an unspoken explanation for the events in the film. The main character, Jake, is a troublemaker and moves to Florida or whatever, where he soon meets the love of his life, a streetfighter named Ryan, played by ripped thespian Cam Gigandet. When the two first lock eyes, it's seriously one of the most heart-pounding moments I've ever experienced in my living room. This will probably get nominated for a Spirit Award this year (IF THERE'S ANY JUSTICE).

The two fight at a house party, a sweaty row that is supposed to be symbolic of these two making love for the first time, except the limitations of societal mores makes it so that these two young men cannot express, and so therefore must subvert, their sexual desires. This is presented in the abstract in the form of street fights. Jake loses, which represents him being the bottom. This is meant to portray societies ostracization of 'people like that' and so Jake goes on a journey to both win Ryan's love and prove to the world that he is as much a man, if not more than, his peers.

Seriously, the poetic beauty of the training montages (matched with tasteful radio rock selections) will bring tears to your eyes. The way the filmmakers use a constant barrage of shirtless, smooth-chested cover shots to convey the isolation and almost desperate state of the main character is perhaps one of the boldest artistic choices I've witnessed since Charlie Kaufman chose to put himself as a character in his film Adaptation. I won't spoil the ending, although you'll be able to see it coming. I'll just say this is going to be A HIT among the artsy crowd and might sweep the Oscars this year. I'm calling it now.

In the brain: Movies

Did I really watch Never Back Down? Not yet.

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Movies I have watched lately:

Synecdoche, New York: Rocked me gentle. I don't want to say this movie is amazing, but it's kind of effing genius. As in, you will probably not be exposed to something like this, done with this much inspiration, many more times maybe ever? If it speaks to you. If it doesn't, Starz has Never Back Down available on demand, which I'm gonna watch too, so don't feel bad.

Teeth: the vagina with teeth movie. It was very good, darkly entertains, bros.

Diary of the Dead: hokey as hell. Worth it for telegenic cast and violence; not much else goin for it.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall: funny. Mila Kunis is extraordinarily pretty, really, you guys.

Religulous: Good if you're into that kinda thing. Athiests probably need to grow some balls, is my conclusion.

Rec: Already talked about it. Is good.

Step Up 2 the Streets, Bro: already talked about. Good dancing, by the numbers everything else.

Rachel Getting Married: Good. Only a couple boring scenes, but features the most fun wedding after-party you will ever see, this year.

I got the pictures above from here.

An overshare: Fitness

You ever start working out, and it's basically in that lazy way that assuages the guilt of a gluttonous and empty existence, and that only beneifits you in a way that you can notice, or, like, you're sig other who doesn't work out? Well, did you come across this picture, of this guy right here, and then it pushed you to work harder while you're still basically young, and could actually acheive this? Cuz it would help, if like, that were to happen to you.

In videos: Zero

So, the YYYs have a new video for an album I'm not sure if I like, but probably will if I get to see them live or whatever. This is that video. If a commercial plays before the song does, just know that that's god punishing me for thinking about sodomy so much.

# Whatever: warm weather

What's good about warm weather is that I don't have to wear the same 4 sweaters over and over again. I can be poor, without looking poor, because everyone basically looks poor in the spring and summer, because they all are sweaty and smell bad, and are wearing shorts, just like homeless people. But, further, this is the best time of year to be a closet case because guys are barely wearing anything in the summer, and it's a primo opportunity to ogle your ass off. Sure people will notice your gaze following the beefcakes and hot jailbait walking around with nary a leaflet to cover their loins, but what the fuck will you care? Your spank bank will be overstocked after the visual wasteland that is the winter months. Rejoice, clozzies. Maybe at the beach, your closest bro toweling down after coming in from the surf, he catches you checkin out his nips, and you look away, but he says, "It's cool, you can look." You smile at him, and get married to him 6 years later [in an alternate world where you won't go to hell for being a fagmo]. 

Here comes the sun, and it's all right. 

In the news: Hate!

-Some HS kids in Pennsy were putting on a play involving gay themes and some protestors thought they should know that god hates fags. [wcax]

-Religion  seems to still be happening. This time with protestants trying to come to terms. [ocala]

-There's a lawsuit against a school who hates queers and homos. [dallas voice]

-Family Guy has a gay themed episode that my roommate DVR'd, that I'm gonna go watch in a minizzle. [ontop]

-There's a gay mardi gras in Aussie land. [ap]

-Hillz butters up the gays? [smart news]

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Alsos

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If you haven't been, you should watch the United States of Tara. It's a good show, all around. Not perfect, but it's good. They're trying.

If Zack Efron stumbled into your bedroom drunk, and asked to pass out in your bed with you, would you let him, or make him crash on the couch?

I don't really want to know, I'm just asking for my friend.

Where have all the aryans gone??

Have you noticed that it seems like there aren't really that many Aryans around anymore? Is it just that they are the new Julia Roberts (meaning, big at one point, but now only attractive/interesting in a quaint, almost boring way)? Do you think  they voted for Obama, or do they still have the Zig-zig-a-zig heil [via Aushwitz Spice] thing going on? I met one a while back, and he said I had a gay vibe, which: a) I did not hit on him in ANY way b) I don't really have a gay vibe unless you like, really get me excited about something (okay, only a little excited). Techinically, I told some dude to come sleep in bed with me right in front of this other kid, which is pretty ghey, but that's not a VIBE, you guys. He cheated. That's EVIDENCE, so don't act like you're all intuitive and shit. That's like saying a Mikey Bay movie gives you a 'splodey vibe. Whatever. I want to go to there (aryan wonderland, that is).

Things around the Internet: Things

Here's a video from JD, who is a photographer, and on the blogroll over there. There are, like, dudes in it, so it works within this theme that I am trying to obliterate anyway [via destroying what you love in order to build something more powerful].

SCCL Blame-storm: Life is so real, you guys

Life is just so real sometimes. Like, sometimes you have something, and about 3.2 secs laters you just don't have it anymore, and there's nothing you can do about it. I think they call this 'real shit.' Sometimes you want to run away from the obvious, right? Maybe you're all happy about something, and it starts to suck, but you get used to it sucking, so instead of getting rid of it, you stick around and suffer with it, even though you 'wanna die sometimes'. They call it comfortable depression. I read about it on Twitterfall.

It's cool how you have to change the way you do things. Like, sometimes you try to get to the heart of closet case culture, in America, then you think you've gotten to the marrow and everything, and so you have to start basically making fun of Jake Gyllenhall in hopes of shaming him. Do I really think he's a clozzy? Maybe. But only because Reese Withsponianz is probs a lez. Don't sue me, y'all. It's just Sunday. Just trying to make it out alive. Just trying to decide if I should pay to see Watchmen or not. I hate spoilers is all. Gotta see it before the blogsphere blowhards it. Don't want to have to hurt sometone, or threaten violence.

Anyway, maybe there should be a big clozzy party? You think if I threw one, closetcases would really show up, or would it just be queenie twinks, who are in high school? Whatever, all I know is that I've seen the movie Step Up 2 tha Streets Y'all like 4 times already, and I don't even feel bad about it. Can I tell you a secret? I'm basically in love with the cast. Does that mean my life is probably empty? 

I blame the recession. I blame Barrack Obama. I blame my parents. I blame the Pope. I blame Polytheism. I blame HRO. I blame Facebook. I blame the Cobrasnake and Gawker dot com. I blame internet porn. I blame the Jonas Brothers (miss you guys). I blame the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album. I blame Liza Minelli.  I blame kids who used to wear NIN t-shirts. I blame Verizone Wireless. I blame Apple store employees. I blame hicks from the South. 

I blame closetcases. 

I blame me.

Call me in three years, bro.

party pix via cobrasnake

In the movies: Viddy games as storytelling

Here is Ms. Witherspoon-Ledger-Gyllenhal on the set of her new movie, The Persian Twink Master: Rise of the Twinks.

picture via Kotaku

In the news: Prop h8-erade

"Gordon Brown has condemned California's ban on gay marriage as "unacceptable" and warned people to be vigilant against all forms of discrimination.

The prime minister said the ban, backed in a referendum in the US state in November, would "undo" much of recent progress made in tackling prejudice.

California became the 28th US state to prohibit gay marriage, overturning an earlier court ruling legalising it.

Same-sex civil partnerships became law in the UK in 2005." [bbc]

-the New York Times talks about this shtuff too, you guys. [nyt]

-That Brent Corrigan case is still going on, but ending soon. Hence the picture. [msnbc]

Getting your ass owned: [rec]

No, not in the GAY WAY. I mean, by an awesome movie. It is called [Rec], y'all, and it's good.

In the News: Prop 8. Still.

"The California Supreme Court, which last year declared the right of gays and lesbians to marry, appeared ready Thursday to uphold the voters' decision to overrule the court and restore the state's ban on same-sex marriage.  "There have been initiatives that have taken away rights from minorities by majority vote" and have been upheld by the courts, said Chief Justice Ronald George. "Isn't that the system we have to live with?"" [sfgate]

In the news, yall

-People who play videogames can be homophobic, and companies that make games can sometimes not give a shit. [reghardware]

-Australians maybe will fight against its ghey-haters. [pinknews (hate that name)]

-Obama is pretending to consider 'don't ask [via don't tell]' again, and how its dumb, especially if he's going to be sending everyone under 30 to Afgahnistan. [ap]

-Barry O also might get a gay intern to be all up in the White House, asking everybody if they saw Ugly Betty last night. [365]

-Three men arrested in connection to a hate crime at a bar. [dallas voice]

-Some student can't give blood at his college, in Montclair New Jersey, because he is a gay, and gays are twinks, with AIDS. [cw]

-Sean Penn thinks Cali should have a Harvey Milk Day, but Guvner Swarzenneger thinks that if Penn likes Harvey Milk Day so much, why doesn't he marry it? [e!]

-Sarah Silverman will get to keep her show, only now it has a gay step-father, who sponsors it. [reuters]

-Gay people want to get married or whatever? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? [afp]

picture via the cobrasnake

Dear Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner

I think I love you. See you later? It's cool, I'll text you. Okay, peace.

SCCL Moments: Keeling ur Idolls

Is it okay to look up to people? When I was younger I used to always have to, like, be in elementary school and shit. Why? Who knows, it's not like I'm using my sixth grade diploma for anything. But whatever, we had one assignment where we had to write about someone who we 'looked up to'. This was hard for me, because I realized at this moment, that I didn't look up to anybody. People were writin' bout their dad's and I was like I....don't exactly look up to him. So I realized at that moment that I needed an idol, and I needed one really fast.

So living in a suburbo-rural area, I decided to look up to the white trash guys who I wanted to love me because my parents didn't act like they did, you know? WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. Don't lie, okay, not in front of company. But I realized that these guys were on exisistential hamster wheels and would never really do anything to make sure they were set free. I realized I wasnt' shooting high enough in the stars for my idol, you guys. I needed to dig deeper.

Then I went back to not looking up to anyone, just hating everyone. That's when I decided that God had to die, and thus began my process of killing my idols, and also, killing yours. This process basically went on forever. I was allowed to appreciate someone's contributions to society, but I was not allowed to really think anyone was all that great (per the agreement I made with myself). Being a godless a-hole in a world of god-ly a-holes, made it so that it was easy to hate everyone who wasn't a good-looking guy. Through maybe Darwinism or something, I needed to like something/one, and so again, unfortunately, my this is what I would idolize.

Now I just appreciate people who do things that I want to do, or do already, but who seem to be doing them better than me, for whatever reason. This is called admiration and is not the same thing as looking up. It's more like looking at. WHAT IS MY POINT?? My point is it's always impossible for me to like something in anything more than a backhanded way (after the initial infatuation of liking it in the first place) and that maybe I should do something about that. As in, maybe you should, bro. Maybe YOU should.

SCCL NOTE: Been busy

Miss you, though. Will write my ass off soon; still gays to defend and closets to throw tomatoes at. Still thoughts to pretend to have as an excuse to post pics. Here's something else to tide yall over.

In the news: murder

Stories like this are always awesome, right guys? I mean, gay people suck it soooo hard. Check it out:

"Lawrence "Larry" King wasn't sexually harassing fellow eighth-grade student Brandon McInerney in the weeks leading up to King's shooting death, prosecutors contend in court documents.
McInerney was the aggressor, teasing the effeminate King for weeks and vowing to "get a gun and shoot" him, according to a prosecution brief. Multiple students provided accounts of a growing hostility between the two boys, the document shows." [lat]

#16: Beating their girlfriends?

I dunno. Closetcases are known mysogonists, as they perceive gayness as feminine, and since they are gay, and hate themselves, they also hate girls, at least while they're still in the closet. So, like, it's conceivable, y'all. Just saying.

Pending, you guys.

In the news: pertinent things

- There are still people who listen when the pope speaks. These are called Catholics, but then they also get outraged  when he says stuff they don't like. JUST STOP LISTENING! How hard is that? [canada]

-There's a dumb ad where Shaq acts in a manner which could be construed as homophobic. It has since been pulled. [adrants]

-Homophobia is still a problem, y'all, even for Lance Bass. [las vegas weekly]

-Prop 8 hearings in March. [gcn]

-"According to Democratic strategist Elaine Kamarck, the passage of Proposition 8 does not have serious long term implications for the LGBT community’s future within the Democratic Party. "The support for gay issues of all sorts is strongly correlated to age,” she explained in an interview with the HPR. “If you look at longitudinal polling, this is the fastest-changing social issue ever; it is all about generational change.” As today’s young people make up a larger share of the electorate, same-sex marriage will begin to become less controversial as a political issue." [harvard political review]

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IN ADDITION:

A note to Nick Jonas - 

Um, hi, Nick. Can you do me and other bloggers/internet peoples a really, really big favor, bro? Nah, it's not even, like, a big deal or whatever, but could you, um, maybe hurry up and turn 18 already? I know, I don't even know you, but, look, there are just some things that I would like to say about you, and even if it's okay to say them now, I would just be more comfortable if you were of a generally agreed upon legal age before I said them. So, yeah, just turn 18. It'd be awesome.

Cool, bro. Later days, I guess. (miss you)